Streets of Heaven
by LyssLovesTiva33
Summary: Okay... I was bored last night... heard this song, started sobbing, and just needed to make a one-shot of it. This is a Mer/Der family angst one-shot about their daughter Alexis Marie Shepherd. Warning: Child death!


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or the song 'Streets of Heaven'

Okay.... well I heard this song on youtube and I started bawling my eyes out so I just needed to make a one-shot out of it... It's a Mer/Der family angst one-shot. It's about them and their daughter Alexis Marie Shepherd.... well, you'll see, I will tell you that two sections are flashbacks, but they are not indicated but you can probably tell which is real time and which isn't...

A/N: I love it so much I may even make a fic out of it... maybe soon... I don't know.....

Streets of Heaven

_Hello God, it's me again. 2:00 a.m., Room 304.  
Visiting hours are over, time for our bedside tug of war.  
This sleeping child between us may not make it through the night.  
I'm fighting back the tears as she fights for her life.  
Well, it must be kind of crowded,  
On the streets of Heaven.  
So tell me: what do you need her for?  
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.  
But right now I need her so much more.  
She's much too young to be on her own:  
Barely just turned seven.  
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?_

"Hey Lex," Meredith murmured from her spot on the side of her bed as she saw her husband walk into the room. "Look it's daddy."  
"Daddy," Alexis Marie Shepherd whimpered as he sat on her bed, running his hands through the short blond hair that was struggling to grow at the top of her head.  
"Yeah baby girl, I am here," Derek said choking back his tears. Alexis let out a sigh as closed her eyes, gently drifting to sleep.  
Five months ago, Alexis became ill with a rare form of leukemia. After five months of intense chemotherapy, radition, and surgery, Lex was back in room 304, with not much hope left.  
"Derek," Meredith whispered her lip quivering as she fought back the tears. "She's only seven... she can't... we need her.... she's our little girl...."  
"I know Mer," Derek sighed as he planted a kiss on Lex's head and held her hand. If only he could do that forever.

_Tell me God, do you remember the wishes that she made,  
As she blew out the candles on her last birthday cake?  
She wants to ride a pony when she'd big enough.  
She wants to marry her Daddy when she's all grown up._

"Make a wish sweetie," Meredith said smiling as she ran her fingers through Alexis's long curly blond hair. Her little blue eyes closed and opened a second later before blowing out the seven candles on her purple cake that said 'Happy Birthday Lex.'  
"What you wish for?" Derek asked.  
"I can't tell you silly," she giggled. "Then it won't come true."  
"Well now your seven your allowed to," Meredith teased.  
"Then my wish was to marry daddy when I grow up!" Lex exclaimed. Derek threw his head back in a deep laugh, Meredith joining in.  
"Well then," Derek said. "It's time for presents." Alexis's eyes widened as Meredith grabbed one of the presents in the pile of brightly wrapped gifts.  
"What is it," she asked reaching her hand out for it. "Is it a pony?" Then the family shared another laugh, savoring the moment that they thought they would be able to have for much longer.

_Well, it must be kind of crowded,  
On the streets of Heaven.  
So tell me: what do you need her for?  
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.  
But right now I need her so much more.  
She's much too young to be on her own:  
Barely just turned seven.  
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven?_

Derek and Meredith listened to Alexis's harsh breathing. They could tell how hard she was fighting. How much she wanted to stay with them.  
Why couldn't God just let her get better? They need their little girl.  
"Derek... Derek she's in so much pain," Meredith whimpered.  
"It's almost over Mer," Derek choked out as he looked down at his daughter and stroked her cheek. Though asleep, she seemed comforted by it. She needed her daddy as much as he needed her. But she couldn't have him where she was going... and that is what broke both Meredith and Derek's heart. She'd be alone.  
"Please...." Meredith begged and kissed her little hand over and over again. "I love you Lex."

_Lord, don't you know she's my angel  
You got plenty of your own  
And I know you hold a place for her  
But she's already got a home  
Well I don't know if you're listenin'  
But praying is all that's left to do  
So I ask you Lord have mercy, you lost a son once too_

"This is your new home baby," Meredith whispered into her infant daughter's ear. Alexis looked up and reached for her mother's cheek.  
"That's right," Derek said. "This will be your home for years to come Lex, and you'll have to put up with me and your mommy." Meredith smacked him lightly on the chest.  
"Don't listen to him baby," Meredith murmured. "You'll love it here.... I know it... you'll grow up and live a long and happy life."  
"Definitely," Derek agreed and kissed her gently on the head. They definitely belonged like this forever.

_And it must be kind of crowded,  
On the streets of Heaven.  
So tell me: what do you need her for?  
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever.  
But right now I need her so much more.  
Lord, I know once you've made up your mind,  
There's no use in beggin'.  
So if you take her with you today, will you make sure she looks both ways,  
And would you hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven._

"She's been sick for too long," Meredith murmured lifting her head up to the ceiling. "She needs to be free from it.... she doesn't deserve this.."  
"Mer," Derek sighed.  
"Don't leave her alone.... she needs someone.... she's only seven... she...." Meredith trailed off and looked back down at her daughter. "It's okay sweetheart... Mommy and Daddy won't be mad if you let go.... you fought hard and I am so proud of you... just... just... it's okay.... just remember I love you okay baby."  
"Meredith," Derek cried, silent tears running down his face.  
"She needs to let go Der," Meredith whimpered. "She's in too much pain... she can't live like this anymore... I can't have my only baby girl be in this much pain... she has to let go or..."  
"I know," Derek whispered and bent down to whisper into Alexis's ear. "It's okay angel, just let go... I won't be mad either... just do what you want to do.... I love you so much Lex." He lifted his head to the ceiling. "Take care of her..." His gaze went back to his daughter.  
Her breath slowly got shallow as her breaths got slower and slower. Her breath hitched and she let out a whimper. Derek bent down and kissed her head once more as Meredith held her cheek.  
"I love you," he said quietly before he let his sobs take over as Derek felt the life leave her. The flatline of the monitor blared through the room as both Meredith and Derek's sobs meshed together. Alexis was no longer with them. Their daughter was gone. She was lost in the streets of heaven, finally out of pain.

_The streets of Heaven._

Yeah.... I listened to the song while I wrote this and... I cried even harder then before.......

Please R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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